How to Forgive: 10 Steps to Forgiveness

Yea, um. . . I’m going to be needing way more than 490. 😉

If there is one thing Christ wants us to embody, it’s to love our neighbors as ourselves. That includes, maybe even specifies, our enemies. Love one another. That seems simple enough. Truly, that has to be the easiest commandment. And yet, it’s the hardest one to follow. I call it the Christian Paradox. But actually do these nine things and forgiving that person in your life will be much easier. Do them slowly. Complete one a day, maybe. Don’t let the paradox be a part of your life.

Day 1: Think back to a time someone was mad at you. That’s all. Don’t analyze it, just remember it. That’s all for today.

Day 2: Remember what upset you in the very beginning – Not anything since you’ve been mad – just what started it all.

Day 2.5: If you can’t remember, find a good friend and ask them to kick you in the ass. Then go apologize to whomever you’re mad at and go have a drink with them. Skip to Day 10.

Day 3: Don’t forget, don’t even forgive yet, but stop the grudge. Turn the grudge loose.

Day 4: Try to turn the grudge loose again. 😉

Day 5: Pray. Ask the Holy Spirit for the wisdom to understand BOTH sides. You won’t agree with the other side, but you MUST understand it.

Day 6: Say Hello. Don’t call or write. Just look them in the eye the next time you see them, shake their hand, and say hello.

Day 7: Try to turn the grudge loose again. 😉

Day 8: Remember that Christ loves you even though you do what you do.

Day 9: Pray. Ask God for the strength you need to care more for His Son than for yourself.

Day 10: Turn it loose.

So often the wedge enters our relationships because we feel the person we are choosing not to forgive should know better. Who are these people? They’re always loved ones, close friends or even family. Sometimes especially family. The only way we could think they would know better is if we know them well. How many times have you been screwed by someone you don’t know as well and just shrugged it off? Why? Because you expect everyone else to be idiots. 😉 But the end result makes us the idiot. We treat complete strangers with more compassion and forgiveness than our friends and loved ones.

A good friend of mine said that every day is a gift. That’s why it’s called ‘the present’. (thanks Stony) Well said. You are being outsmarted by Satan if you are living with a grudge. Small, large, on a person, an idea, a group of people . . . whatever. You are only making life less enjoyable for yourself. And Satan is loving every minute of it. Turn it loose. You once had some good times with (you fill in the blank) You can again. Turn it loose.

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